Feelings Are Okay

Feeling Our Feelings

Do you believe that feelings are okay? Most of us were never taught to feel, process, and name our emotions as children... sadly this has resulted in many adults who are not okay with not being okay.

Sound Familiar?

"I shouldn't feel this way. Why can't I just stop? Come on, suck it up, don't be weak. People who I admire don't feel like this. I am stupid for feeling this way. Just get it together. I should know better than to feel this way by now. Why can't I just be better?"

Unfortunately, if we don't learn how to correctly deal with our emotions, these harmful phrases are often our first response when difficult or uncomfortable emotions like grief, anger, jealousy, sadness, disappointment, pain, or fear present themselves in our life.

Unhealthy Responses to Emotions

When we haven’t been taught how to deal with our emotions, respond to them in ways that are not only unhelpful, but are ultimately harmful. There are often two types of unhealthy responses to emotions… attempting to numb your emotions or negatively judging your emotions.

Numbing Your Emotions

You might attempt to numb their feelings by pushing them further and further down, covering them up with distractions, with drugs and alcohol, or with achievement. These attempts to numb and avoid emotion unknowingly creates more suffering in the long run. They may make you feel better temporarily, but in reality you are only attempting to put a bandaid on the problem and not actually addresses the difficult emotions you are experiencing.

Judging Your Emotions

Another unhealthy response is to negatively judge your emotions, telling yourself unhelpful stories about what it means to feel specific emotions. Feeling fearful means that you are weak, feeling disappointed means that you are vulnerable and lack control, feeling hurt means that you are crybaby who is too sensitive...

Processing, experiencing and feeling a full range of emotions is part of what it means to be human! When we refuse to feel our feelings we are stripping ourselves of our intrinsic humanity and robbing ourselves of the ability to experience the good things in life. Ultimately, the way to heal and move through painful experiences is to let yourself feel them! If you feel like you don't know where to being, reaching out to a counselor is a great first step!